what an ugly thought sequence

I did not think
that those three words
would ever be ones I would want
not to be said

It felt like blasphemy
although I know better than to throw that term around

the constriction in my chest
told me secrets I didn't want to acknowledge

perhaps I am just
having delusions of persecution

and I know I dreamed I could not be kissed hard enough

but whenever I hear Regina Spektor say in her song Fidelity
"kissed me so sweet, and so soft"
I wish he was not so aggressive in his kisses

I built some speed bumps
he goes over them full speed
I throw road blocks
and he is temporarily subdued

but it won't last
he will go off-roading soon enough
I'll join him